Gifts from Mike's spirit

I can't explain why, but I ached to touch Mike again yesterday. I just wanted to touch his hand or stroke his hair, and it wouldn't go away.

Then last night, I dreamed we were at a family party, grownups on the couch, kids on the floor, and Mike was sitting in front of me. I reached out and stroked his hair, and then I tousled it, and he turned around and said, "Mom!" I smiled and moved his hair back into place. It was what my sister, Robin, calls a gift from Mike's spirit.

I was telling Danny about it today and he told me he saw a beautiful bird the other day and it was just watching him. He said he thought it was Mike, just checking in. He realized it was entirely illogical, but he sensed it was Mike. I believe it was.

I do believe that if we're open to these opportunities to connect with the spirits of people we love, we can, in brief, fleeting moments, be with them. I have felt my sister with me and I have felt Mike, and I know it was them connecting, just for a moment.

Thanksgiving will be hard, because Ellen and I always called each other the night before to talk about what we were cooking and how many we were cooking for . She always won that competition.

Mike always stole as much stuffing as he could before it even got to the table, then ate half of it during the meal. It was his favorite thing. He could eat it hot or cold. I stuffed the bird and then cooked an extra pan of it because he ate so much we needed the extra for the rest of us.

Danny told me today he's thinking about trying to cook turducken for Christmas. That was MIke's most triumphant holiday meal. And that same day, Janet made one of the most decadent chocolate cakes I've ever tasted. Danny and Jennifer and the kids were here. It was the last holiday we would all spend together, except for Easter this year, which was a week or so before he died.