Listening to Peyton

It was just the two of us in the car for almost three hours, and I got to hear so much about her life, her friends, her views. I loved every moment of it.

I remember how my grandmother used to listen to me go on about boys and my best friends an school ... I wondered for awhile if she was interested, but now I'm sure she was.

I told Peyton when she was 10 that she didn't need a boy to be a whole person, and now I hear her say that she doesn't need to have a boyfriend to make her summer complete. She has her whole life to find the right person. I remember being 15 and being told a man makes his success and a woman marries it. Peyton knows better than that. She's thinking about what she wants to be and she keeps coming back to marine biologist. She's looking forward to talking to my mother, who spent years researching the decline of the striped bass.

She said she's getting tired of hearing about the first African-American to do this thing or that thing, and I told her about living through the Civil Rights Movement, when African-Americans weren't allowed to vote or marry white people or get good jobs, no matter how talented they were. I remember a time when a white person could kill a black person and get away with it, no matter how damning the evidence.

I have to admit it's nice to hear a kid say skin color doesn't matter. She wouldn't ever vote based just on that, although she follows in her parents' conservative footsteps.

"So what if he's the first African-American to become a candidate for president? I want somebody who's conservative."

I might be able to talk her out of that. I have, like, two weeks.

I think most of that time will be spent talking about when I was young. We're going to be with the Jersey Gang, some of whom have known each other for 45 years. She's going to hear some stories. Then we'll stop in New Jersey to get together with a couple of Rob's cousins, and she'll get to hear some family stories. Then it's Tuesday lunch at O'Donoghue's in Nyack, NY, where Kevin has known me for 22 years, and Jack, the bookstore owner, has known me for 31 years, and then on to my side of the family, where I know as many embarrassing stories about everyone as they do about me.

Danny called me before I picked her up and told me to take care of his little girl, and she and I joked that she should call him tomorrow and pretend I had introduced her to something called tequila, but she refused to eat the worm. He knows better than to believe she would even try it, though, She's a great kid and she' not going to screw up her future by doing something stupid like drink, do drugs or have sex. She knows she can wait for those experiences. Why weren't my kids that smart??

I realy do love every minute I get to spend with her. I love watching her become a smart woman -- especially since she doesn't take any crap. To use a hackneyed phrase: You go, girl!