My dinner with Angie

I met my friend Angie for dinner and we talked about Mike and his memorial service. We drank a toast to him, had a sandwich and just spent two hours hanging out. Angie used to sit next to me at work -- she's working for a nonprofit now -- and I went through her father's death with her.

Angie's nice. Really nice. I can be pretty crusty and cynical, so we balance each other out pretty well. She tries not to be shocked at my twisted sense of humor -- usually, she winces and then laughs.

Rob was worried that I would spend too much time alone this week, but I like time alone. When I was young, I always wanted people around me, but now I really do enjoy being in my own company. I don't think I'm in any danger of becoming an introvert. Angie and I talked about how maturity brings with it a comfort with oneself. I'm not uncomfortable alone with my thoughts anymore.

I don't feel that sadness that takes my breath away when I'm with people. I know I have to feel that before I begin to feel better. I enjoy sharing memories of Mike with people, though, and my friends are very indulgent.

I talked to Janet tonight too. Her birthday was Sunday. I had called and left her a message, hoping she had some kind of celebration, but she didn't. She hung out at home. I told her about Jaime's idea that she could make a quilt out of Michael's old rock 'n' roll T-shirts. She wants to wear them out first.

Janet loves to make things as much as I do, We spent many, many hours in hospital rooms together sewing and/or crocheting. She sewed a skirt by hand one time as I worked on crocheted scarves --24 of them in 16 days. She made an afghan the next time he was in the hospital while I worked on a quilt. While he was here during the final days of his life, she worked on crocheting a purse while I worked on the bedspread.

Neither one of us can sit still without something in our hands, and we could sit with our projects and a glass of wine and talk into the wee hours of the morning. Mike used to get a kick out of that.