A fitting memorial

I stopped by Ellen Charities today to drop off some photos of Mike. Bill Murdock, the director, wants to include a memorial to Mike in the program for the annual dinner and auction in May.

Eblen helped Mike by paying for prescriptions before his Medicaid kicked in and for gas to he could get to his appointments at Duke. They didn't ask for verification of his poverty; they assume people who ask for help need it, and they don't turn people away.

That's why we asked for memorial contributions after he died, and Bill said a lot have come in already. I asked him to let me know if enough comes in to get naming rights to a room in the new building, and he said something will be arranged.

I told him the most appropriate room would be the employee break room -- where the coffee is --and he thought it was a good idea. So we're likely to have the Mike Danforth Memorial Break Room.

I had a really hard time getting to sleep last night. I kept reliving his final breath, and as hard as I tried to think about something else, watching him die kept coming back to me. Finally, I held onto Boo Bankie and remembered the time he and I wrote a menu to help Janet with a school project. One of our entree ideas -- roast pork loin with an apple butter and chipotle glaze -- is something Rob and I have made several times.

I went to the funeral home to offer hugs and support to Amy and Rob Mitchell, but they weren't there. It was just little Paxten in that tiny casket. All I could think of to say was, "beautiful boy," and I said a prayer of thanks for the angels who came to take him home.

James called today and I invited him to come out this weekend. Robbo will be here and I think he would get a kick out of watching some Star Trek with us (yes, he's a fan too). He's just offered Mike's old room to a young man who's new in recovery. He figures one of the best things he can do to honor Mike's memory is to reach out to someone the way Mike reached out to him.

Danny called, too. He has watched hours and hours of bad video and seen a few snippets of Mike as a kid. He keeps kicking himself for not being able to remember details of time he spent with Mike.

"I remember laughing with him but I can't remember the specifics," he said.

I told him I don't think the details are nearly as important as the laughter and the love.