Love from friends

John Boyle and I tease each other endlessly. We have a ton of inside jokes, and nobody can make me laugh the way he can. His humor is every bit as inappropriate as Michael's.

He came by tonight with Nanci Bompey and they stayed and kept us company until 11:30. We had supper -- Rob's incredible vegitarian chili -- and a couple of beers. They brought a card signed by everyone in the newsroom, a gift certificate to my favorite garden center, a gift certificate for a couples massage, an embrarrassing amount of cash and chocolate.

The cash came from the publisher, who addressed the newsroom with tears in his eyes last week, and told everyone they could have their donated vacation days back because the paper will give Rob and me the time we need.

As always, Boyle made me laugh until my sides hurt. But he also told me he can't imagine what it is to lose a child, and if there's anything he can do to help, I should ask. I told him his ability to make me laugh is the best gift ever.

I so love both of them and their ability to make me feel better.

I introduced them to Boo Bankie, and they loved the ratty, football-shaped mess. They both understood the comfort it provides me.

I mowed the back yard today with the manual push mower. I needed to do something physical. I think I'll do the front yard tomorrow. It helps to move and exert myself.

James called late this afternoon. The cable company needs a copy of the death certificate before they'll transfer the account to his name. He was uncomfortable asking for it.

After my sister died, her spouse said the paperwork was overwhelming. She was right,

Mike's first disability check came today, nine days after he died. I have to take the will and the death certificate to the bank tomorrow to cash the check.

Why can't I just grieve my child?