Just keep busy

I tried to get some of the legal stuff done today, but the death certificate isn't ready yet. I can't do the bank stuff or the Social Security stuff without it. Hell, the cable company wanted a copy of it before they would put the service in James's name.

So I went to the craft shop and got two miniature clay jugs to hold bouquets of violets, which are in bloom in the yard now. Then I ran to the Arboretum to renew our membership, and to the grocery store and the garden center.

I bought a new thistle feeder and a bunch of birdseed, then I picked up some grass seed for the bare spots in the lawn.

If I stay busy I can get the image of Michael's final breath out of my mind. But as soon as I slow down it's back. I want so much to remember his life. I've looked at the pictures again and again, but right now, they only remind me that he's gone.

It's moment-by-moment for me. I can't think about getting through a whole day yet. Everything reminds me of him and the fact that he would still be alive if he only had been able to get access to decent health care. If only he had mattered as a human being to anyone in our broken, greedy, profit-driven health care system.

Robbo got here tonight and we spent some time going through the photos of Mike. She loved the one with the gorilla statue...




It's just so Michael. He really was a jackass.

Robbo knew I would need somebody after the memorial service, and she's the best company. She and I get each other totally. I still have lots of friends who want to get together with me, and some of them will hang out with Robbo and me over the weekend. We're having lunch with Rob and John Boyle tomorrow, then James is coming for the weekend. Robbo hasn't met him yet.

We're trying to decide which restaurants we want to go to -- 12 Bones for lunch tomorrow for blueberry-chipotle ribs, jalapeno cheese grits and corn pudding. We have to get to Early Girl and Me La, Mayfel' s, Sunny Point Cafe, Marco's ... There are just too many great places to eat in Asheville, and Robbo and I are all about the food, just like Michael always was.

Anf if it stops raining long enough, we'l take a hike. She gets fussy after 3 or 4 miles, so we'll keep it short.

Robbo noticed I've lost weight. 13 pounds so far. Fortunately, I didn't have a huge appetite while all the comfort food was coming in, so I didn't gain anything back. But this weekend could be a setbck. I still need to get the ice cream Will Gardner sent me the money for. Robbo wil be happy to join me for that. But we usually get enough exercise while she's here to offset the bad food decisions.